How To Deal With Jealousy In A Relationship?

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If you are in a relationship you must have felt jealous at times. Wondering if your partner is lying or hiding something from you? Is there anyone else who is trying to creep in your relationship these days or your partner is not acting like earlier? Oh well, you might be facing jealousy in a relationship!

Understand that being jealous is a normal emotion but its prolonged presence impairs your ability to love unconditionally. Moreover, it can even create tensions in the relationship as our mental health is also in a state of confusion and inattentiveness.

Also Read: Communication And Mental Health: Why Is It The Key To Mental Wellness

If you want to live your life with the utmost freedom and let your partner also enjoy the same, it is important to learn how to deal with jealousy and possessiveness in a relationship. No troubled relationship can let you gain confidence emotionally. Moreover, the negative critical voices within us keep popping up and pinch you bad.

Is Jealousy Healthy In a Relationship?

Jealousy is a very complex yet common emotion that can affect relationships on different levels. Some people may think that jealousy is a sign of love and care, while others may see it as a sign of insecurity and distrust but actual truth is, jealousy can be both healthy and unhealthy, depending on how it is expressed and managed.

Healthy jealousy is when you feel a mild or moderate amount of jealousy but this feeling motivates you to protect and improve your relationship. Healthy jealousy will show that you value your partner and you do not want to lose them. It can also help you communicate your needs and expectations, and appreciate your partner more. Healthy jealousy can also inspire you to grow and learn from your partner, and to support their achievements and happiness. Healthy jealousy is based on trust, respect, and honesty, and does not interfere with your or your partner’s well-being.

but on the counter part Unhealthy jealousy is when you feel an excessive or irrational amount of jealousy that harms your relationship. Unhealthy jealousy can show that you are insecure and fearful of losing your partner. It can also lead you to accuse, control, or isolate your partner, and to violate their privacy and boundaries.

Unhealthy jealousy can also prevent you from growing and learning from your partner, and from celebrating their achievements and happiness. Unhealthy jealousy is based on distrust, resentment, and anger, and can interfere with your or your partner’s well-being.

How To Deal With Jealousy In A Relationship?

1. Acknowledge Your Emotions To Resolve It

You cannot improve jealousy in a relationship if you refuse to accept its presence. Only when you are honest with yourself and your partner about what you feel, you can move away from insecurities. Whenever there is an uncomfortable emotion within you, try to understand and acknowledge it peacefully. Remember, this is the first step to make your relationship healthier.

2. Find Out The Insecurities

In order to get rid of jealousy in a relationship, there is no harm in listing down those things which make you insecure. Whether it’s some friend in your partner’s life or a colleague from their workplace, are you jealous of them or is it the perfectionism you are searching for? Well, you don’t need to feel ashamed about it but take this as a positive step to improve your own relationship.

Also Read: Recognizing & Protecting Yourself From Emotional Manipulation

3. Develop Self-Confidence & Self-Love

Jealousy may make you feel unconfident or worthless in the moment. It also happens when you start comparing yourself with others and can’t control the situation. Hence, give all the feelings a little bit of space or even try finding out the source of insecurities. Once the dust settles, it’s very much needed that you develop self-confidence and allow yourself to love oneself again.

4. Be Honest With Your Partner & Build Trust

Your jealous nature might have already been noticed by your partner. If it is not, do not hesitate in communicating with them. It is because trust acts as a major basis for a healthy relationship. If you are planning to build a strong trust, make sure that you:

Do not lie to your partner
Take responsibility of your actions
Express your emotions to them freely
Avoid taking those steps which make your partner angry
Show your support and reliability to them

You may hurt your partner unintentionally but hey, no one is perfect and you can keep trying to pitch best efforts.

5. Adjust Relationship Expectations

We all are aware of the fact that unrealistic expectations in a relationship could only hamper it more. However, adjusting the expectations doesn’t mean lowering your bar but it only means to keep a balance of love. The more you try to hold the person, the more he demands freedom. So it’s best to adjust your viewpoints with your partner and grow the relationship together.

6. Express Your Views In A Healthy Manner

There is no need to be angry or disappointed in your partner, right in the beginning because jealousy isn’t a bad thing at all. In fact, jealousy can actually help to develop love in between couples, self-improvement and put in efforts to make each other happy. Hence, it is important that you express your feelings gently and not lash out outrightly. Don’t forget to be respectful to each other!

7. Try Journaling to Understand Your Emotions

According to My experience journaling is the best ways to vent out your emotions healthy way and you can also learn why you are feeling this way. if you are afraid to show your emotions and thinking everyone will judge you about being jealous in relationship, you can try journaling.

For a Start you can Try these key question:

Do you feel inferior when people admire and appraise your partner?
What Did They do exactly that make your feel jealous of them?
Are you Bringing Your Past or your partner past into this relationship?
Do you feel unheard or Disrespected by your partner?
Do you Think that your partner is secretly seeing someone of the opposite sex?

8. Consider Counseling Positively

Why to hurt yourself and your partner out of jealousy in the relationship? If you feel that you cannot manage it alone or things have already passed off from your hands, consult a relationship counselor by visiting in-person or dropping us a message at [email protected].

You can take the counseling alone or go with your partner, as you both agree upon. Check out the signs which say your relationship needs counseling and the best online marriage counseling programs to revive relationships.

When to Seek Therapy?

You are constantly getting intrusive thoughts about your relationship.
You or your thoughts are getting violent.
You are not able to focus on your work or other activities.
You are spying on your partner or vice-versa.


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We understand that your relationship stands at a very important place in your heart and mind and jealousy may act as a bitter piece. If you figure out how to deal with jealousy in your relationship smartly, there is no way it goes off the hinge and in fact, saves from multiple other negativities.

The post How To Deal With Jealousy In A Relationship? appeared first on Calm Sage – Your Guide to Mental and Emotional Well-being.

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