Why Do I Feel Like I Am Lying When I Am Not?

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I was raised by positive parents, my parents believed I must not suppress my feelings and must be honest towards communicating them. Growing up with this pattern was not easy, sometimes, I had to lie for others sake or push the truth under the carpet for others sake! This behavior might have saved other’s sanity, but it definitely ruined mine. 

Reason being, that when I have to cover the truth for someone else’s sake, it impacts my well-being negatively. I always end up with this unpleasant feeling now because whenever I tell something to someone, I feel like I am lying even when I am telling the truth! 

One day I asked my therapist this question, “Why do I always feel like I am lying when I am not”? “Does this make me look like a bad person?” My therapist clearly told me that the previous experiences signalled others that I was lying even when I was telling the truth! 

This situation is common and can happen to people who are good from the heart and always want to see the good of others! But unknowingly, they end up hurting themselves! In this blog, let me help you understand “why do I feel like I am lying even when I am not” and how to cope with this feeling. So, let’s get started! 

Answering The Most Asked Question “Look like I am lying when I am being honest” 

 

I know that feeling when you answer something honestly and it turns out to be a blurry or confusing situation (even when it’s not), people stop believing in your instincts and usually start considering you a liar. But ever wondered why this feeling occurs? 

Sometimes we lie intentionally for someone else’s sake or to save someone from the truth! This is known as conscious lying! But, when we start lying constantly, our subconscious mind gets activated and it can make the truth sound like a lie.

Persistent lying can be so strong that it’s quite challenging to overcome. Do you lie pathologically, well if the answer is yes, please read this guide to know how to deal with pathological lying

Coming forth, some situations make us lie, we may want to protect others’ feelings or sometimes we hide important information that might influence others’ opinions. For example, suppose you’re a car seller, and you know the car being placed for the auction is not working properly. One interested buyer asks you if the car is running properly or not. And you reply, “It was fine when we test-drove it.”

In this scenario, you’re making a statement that is true at some point but clearly, it is misleading the buyer about the true state of the car. This situation is referred to as paltering and it can impact your mental well-being negatively because the next time, you try to be honest with someone, you’ll not be able to gain the trust of others because unintentionally or intentionally, you’ve misled people and now they don’t count you as a trustable person.

Due to this feeling, you’ll never be able to speak the truth with honesty and if you try to do so, you’ll always end up feeling you’re lying even when you’re not! 

9 Common Reasons That might have Led to This Feeling

Below-listed can be reasons why people have stopped trusting you or why you feel like lying even when you’re telling the truth: 

1. To avoid the consequences 

Generally, we lie from time to time. Sometimes, we lie to avoid the consequences. For example, we commonly lie at the workplace to avoid the consequences set by the team leaders. But we are not aware that one common lie gives birth to another. 

2. To gain something personally 

Lying to gain something personally is the most common reason why people lie. For example, you might have lied in a job interview to gain that job. These common lies might help you gain something but someone on the internet said that “a lie may take care of the present but it has no future.” 

3. To protect someone 

When we lie to protect someone or to protect another’s feelings, we always end up feeling messy. It might be counted as a humanitarian act but always remember, such lies carry worse consequences. 

4. To protect someone else’s feelings 

Also, we commonly lie to protect someone’s feelings or because we always want to stay in the good books, but do you know it does not have to be like that always! Sometimes, it’s okay to speak the truth and live your life positively instead of keeping yourself and your loved one in a dark place. 

5. To make yourself look worthy 

We all have done that right… we’ve lied to make ourselves look worthy. As mentioned above, “no lie can live forever.” What are you going to do when they get to know the truth? Will you be able to forgive yourself or move out of the consequences easily? If your loved ones or friends have already realized that you’ve lied to make yourself look worthy, don’t expect them to take you seriously even when you’re willing to speak the truth in front of them. 

6. To gain control or power 

It might sound harsh, but it’s a fact that all lies contain manipulation! Such tactics are mostly used by villains! For example, we all know an employee who secretly lies in front of the manager or leader to gain power or control in the workplace. 

7. To keep something private 

We all have some secrets that cannot be shared with anyone, and when you like to keep your things private, it might lead to misunderstandings. 

8. To maintain other’s sanity 

Sometimes, we lie to not gain power or control but to protect other’s sanity or feelings. Such situations impact our well-being and make our lives look messier. 

9. To change someone else’s opinion 

If you’re a marketing employee, you appropriately know how to change someone’s opinion. You know how to, what to, and when to speak in front of the clients right? Honestly answer, does it impact your personal life? 

Why have People Stopped Believing mM when I Tell the truth? 

Well, after discussing the reasons, you might have understood why you feel like you’re lying even when you’re not. Now, let’s discuss the possible consequences of such reasons: 

1. Lack of trust 

People who know that you might have lied in the past have no patience for you or lack trust. Whatever the reason may be, you have now fallen into the web and now nobody will allow you to express even when you are willing to speak the truth. 

2. Wrong signals 

When we try to protect others feelings or sanity, we unknowingly pass mixed signals which results in a lot of confusion and misunderstanding. Sometimes, actions speak louder than words. For example, weird expressions, lack of emotions, inability to make eye contact, or restrictive speaking makes you feel like lying even when you’re telling the truth. 

3. Growing confusion and misunderstandings 

It’s a fact that people can easily associate mixed signals or confusion with lying when you’re telling the truth. Lying is one of the most common issues faced by everyone and people have stopped trusting others. And due to confused expressions, it becomes quite difficult to separate the lie from the truth. 

4. Bad image or compulsive disorder

Constant lying not only results in broken trust but also results in disappointment, bad image, dissatisfaction, and more. Next time, you’ll try to express your feelings, people won’t believe because of the bad image you’ve created. Additionally, constant lying can result in pathological lying or compulsive lying disorder. 

What Next? How can I regain the Trust of Others?

In order to regain the trust, change this habit, and make your personality worthy and trustable, try the below-listed strategies: 

1. Understand the causes and consequences

The first step towards gaining trust again is to understand the reasons why you might have lied in the past and then focus on the harsh consequences you might be going through in the present. For example, if you have lied to protect others’ feelings, focus on the result right now… what happened… you lost the person you were trying to protect…right? 

It is better to be divided by the truth than to be united in error. It is better to speak the truth that hurts and then heals than falsehood that comforts and then kills.”  – Adrian Rogers 

2. Acknowledge your emotions and follow the path of honesty

Let bygones be bygones, now it’s time to focus on the present. It’s time to acknowledge your emotions, take responsibility for your actions, and follow the path of honesty in the future. Always remember… 

“Honesty doesn’t always pay, but dishonesty always costs.” Michael Josephson 

3. Practice empathy

Now that you’ve put yourself on the road of honesty, it’s also important to practice empathy. Try to put yourself in the shoes of the reactor and now think how you’d react. It’s important to…

“Treat people the way you want to be treated.”

4. Work on yourself and your goals

At present, you might not be happy about your lying habit or protecting other’s feelings but always remember, it’s better to work on positive changes instead of facing the consequences. In this way… 

“Your life will be much more positive when you don’t have to lie.” 

5. Focus on becoming authentic

When we lie to protect others feelings or sanity, we are hiding the facts, and we are not allowing people to know the truth.” But have you ever wondered, what will happen when they will get to know the truth? It’s always better to speak the truth and enhance your vulnerability. Always remember, 

“You’re responsible for being honest, not for someone else’s reaction to your honesty.” – Kelli Jae Baeli

I hope this blog helps you understand why you feel like lying when you’re not! Comment down and share your feelings on the same. 

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Thanks for reading!

The post Why Do I Feel Like I Am Lying When I Am Not? appeared first on Calm Sage – Your Guide to Mental and Emotional Well-being.

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